Dream Catcher
by BunnyGrrl
Summary: What happens when ZIM invades Dib's dreams? Insanity, that's what. YUMMY insanity. Goes good with a nice honey mustard sauce.


Dream Catcher  
  
A/N Yes, I realize this is the title of a Stephen King novel. So sue me. No.... please, don't. Today, we'll be taking a closer look at the ravaged mess that is Dib's subconscious. This was written before the 'halloween spectacular of spooky doom'. Wheee... Ah, yeah, all the lovely little characters used here belong to that man of mystery, Jhonen Vasquez. Not me. All I own are the socks on my feet. They're pretty socks... with purple flames. Oooooh.  
  
~*~  
  
"... and after that, I'll expose you to the PRESIDENT! Yeah! The un- holy, demonic RULER of our planet! HAH! He's not as incompetent as he LOOKS, ZIM."  
  
Dib continued ranting outside the little Irkens' window, waving his arms and stomping his booted feet.  
  
"ZIM! YOU'RE MEAT!"  
  
Zim sighed, and closed the shades on the windows tight. "This little worm must be stopped," he growled, sitting on the couch with Gir. The TV was on, and Zim was able to catch the last few minutes of, 'It Came From Me Brain Meats'- an incredibly cheap and cheesy horror film Zim enjoyed emmensly.  
  
"Look!" the lead character, Micheal Fortune, cried, pointing dramatically at the giant tentacle-like creature towering over Kansas City, the Hair Curler Tower crumbling to the streets below. "The things heater reactor core is... eh... exploding...?" Micheals' face dropped from it's mock terror, and he rolled his eyes.  
  
The, from seemingly nowhere, a girl about Micheals' age popped up, and screamed. She then took a deep breath and said, "Jor-"  
  
"Micheal."  
  
"Mi-Micheal... right..." the girl scribbled 'Micheal' onto her palm. "Got it." she cleared her throat. "Micheal! It's going to fall onto the city!"  
  
'Micheal' sighed. "You say that like it's a bad thing, Kitty."  
  
The girl blinked. "Huh. You have a point there... wanna go to Disney World?"  
  
Micheal shrugged. "Yeah, sure."  
  
The two then hopped into a neon green sports car, and sped off, leaving the tentacle monster to collapse onto the city with a gigantic mushroom cloud of debree and fire. The End. Credits started to roll, and Gir sighed dreamily. "I love that movie."  
  
CRASH!  
  
"AAAH!" Zim cried, as a flaming Barbie doll came flying through the window. Dib peered over the broken glass, wide eyed. He stammered something, but abruptly shut his mouth when Zim aimed some sort of laser gun at his face. Dib ran away, giggling, down the suburban street. With a sigh, Zim handed Gir the gun. Gir squealed, and aimed the weapon at Zim, pulled the trigger...  
  
And Zim found a NERF styrofoam dart stuck to his forehead. He yanked it off, and slumped back onto the couch, glaring at the smoldering pile of plastic on the floor. As Gir filled the whole house with styrofoam darts, Zim was plotting something terribly wicked.  
  
~*~  
  
Dib walked into his room with a content smile on his freakishly large head. He threw himself onto the bed, and opened up his official 'Mysterious Mysteries' journal. Under a list of 'Ways to do Things What Are... Bad to Zim', he crossed out 'Flaming Barbies', then wrote a journal entry:  
  
"Stupid Zim, Stupid Zim, STUPID ZIM!!"  
  
"Pure genius." Dib grinned, and closed the journal. He looked around his room, eager to find something to occupy his gigantic, gifted mind with. He decided to go on-line, fry a few brain cells, and chat with some fellow Swollen Eyeballs.  
  
After five straight hours of chatting with Agent Dark Bootie and Agent Sasquatch, Dib's eyes started to droop. It was time for sleep. He bid them farewell, and crawled under the blankets on his bed, too tired to even change out of his clothes. As most people generally do, Dib dreamed. At first, his dream started as it usually did- he was sitting in a a plush apartment with Gillian Anderson, Wishbone the dog, and Byork. They were all discussing the paranormal while waiting for Greg Proops to pick them up and take them to the local goth dance club- 'From Dusk Til' Dawn'- to meet up with Johnny Depp and Gwen Stefani.  
  
Dib straightened his feathered pimp hat, and glared at Gillian. "Dance, my puppet, dance!" he screamed. She sprung to her feet, and began jumping around. Dib pointed at Byork. "Sing, my pretty, sing!" Byork broke into song, her Icelandic tunes soothing to Dib's ravaged brain meats. He was about to tell Wishbone to get run over by a car for his pleasure, but he was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"Wishbone?" Dib looked around, confused. The beast was no where to be seen. "Come on, this isn't funny! Wishbone!" he tapped his sequinted shoes impatiently. A dog did appear, just not the one he was looking for. It was light green, had a zipper going down the front...  
  
"AGH! Get out of here!" Dib screamed, throwing a tire at Gir.  
  
Gir quickly dodge, and stopped in his place. Waiting for something. Dib stared, Gillian still danced to Byork's hypnotic tune.  
  
Then... from the doorway of the apartment came...  
  
THE MOOSE!  
  
Huge and towering over everything, the moose plowed into the apartment- munching walnuts, and staring deep into Dib's mortal soul with pure venom.  
  
"NOOOOOOO!!" Dib screamed, and ran into the bedroom. "Not again!!"  
  
C-R-R-RASH!!  
  
The moose plowed through the door to the bedroom. Dib cowered behind the large, round, velvet covered bed. "Don't kill me!!"  
  
The moose looked down at him menacingly, and raised one giant hoof...  
  
"AAAAAAAAGH!!" Dib screamed, holding up his arms in a weak defense.  
  
FLASH!  
  
Suddenly... everything was bathed in a brilliant flash of white light. Dib squeezed his eyes shut from the intensity of it. When he opened them again, everything had changed. Dib was now in his regular clothes, standing in someone's apartment. (this scene's for all you Nickelodeon haters/ JCV obsessers...) Two men were in the living room area, sheets of paper spread between them messily. One of the men had red hair, and was beating his head into the wall. The other man, a bald one with squinty eyes, was trying to talk to him.  
  
"And so, then, Zim says, 'That's no pig!' HAHAHA!!" the second man cackled.  
  
Red-Hair (let's call him annie!) ceased his actions long enough to glare at his friend. "You're a real genius, you know that?" he then proceded to bash his head into the wall with more vigor. Dib's brow furrowed, and he concidered approaching the two, but decided against it when the guy with red hair started screaming, "Somebody make the noise STOP!!!" Then, quite suddenly, the moose burst through the front door, mouth frothing.  
  
"Oh, COME ON..." Dib grumbled, and ran past the two men, and for the small balcony. After a moment of hesitation, he vaulted over the railing, and down to the pool below. (this is all based on my apartment building- we were on the 7th floor, over looking a pool and the hospital. very pretty... so many car crashes. that's why i'm such a wonderfully insane person, i was influenced by city life at a very young age. car crashes were like television shows- my favorite ones. anywho... back to the story...)  
  
The moose soon followed, leaving (you guessed it) Rob and Jhonen to simply blink at each other, and wonder why the hell they agreed to with with the Nickelodeon beasts in the first place. (a/n *growls* Hi, my name is BunnyGrrl, and I'm a recovering fangirl)  
  
"WAAAAAAAA-" Dib screamed, then hit the water. Thankfully, it was the deepend, but the impact from so far up left him somewhat dizzy. As he kicked for the surface, head spinning, he noticed the water get a bit murkier and deeper. And there were brightly colored fish everywhere. Finally, he reached the surface. His face broke through the water, and he gasped in as much precious air as he could.  
  
"What the he-" he stopped himself, averting his eyes to the sky.  
  
A flying monkey came down from the clouds. It was wearing a pink puffy skirt, a glittery comoflauge bandana, and a fez. The monkey approached, and scowled at Dib.  
  
"Okay..." Dib said. "I can't be dreaming this..."  
  
"Oh, but you can." The monkey said- in ZIM'S voice.  
  
"Wha- but!- how- ZIM!" Dib stuttered, then pointed at the sky. "MONKEY!"  
  
Low and behold, a giant rip appeared in the baby blue sky splotched with cottonball clouds- and out spilled a million flying monkeys.  
  
Zim the monkey incarnate laughed his manic little laugh. "Yesss... Yes! Attack, my monkeys, ATTACK!!" Zim laughed again as the monkeys dive bombed poor Dib. A pod of lime green dolphins flew into the air, and screamed- in gir's voice- "MONKEY TIME!" then splashed back into the ocean.  
  
After being attacked by one too many monkeys, Dib took a deep breath, and dove into the ocean. Swimming deep down, and not knowing what to do next.  
  
~*~  
  
"MASTER! MONKEYS! WHEEEEE!!"  
  
Gir ran around the lab, happily squeeking his rubber moose.  
  
"Gir, be quiet!" Zim growled, turning away from the computer and a monitor that showed Dib diving back into the water. "He can hear you over the micro-com, you know!"  
  
"Oh..." Gir stopped in his tracks and looked at nothing with a glazed over expression. "I do have a dreamy voice..."  
  
Zim stared at Gir in silence for a bit, then looked back to the computer, grinning wickedly. "Now, to do something really... DOOMY!" He laughed manically and furiously pounded comands into the computer.  
  
~*~  
  
As Dib swam deeper and deeper, his mind frantically searched for some escape from this mess. But how could you escape your own mind?! Right as that thought flitted through his oxygen deprived brain, something wrapped around his ankle.  
  
"OOGH!" a largh bubble of precious air escaped his lungs in shock. He jerked around to see the owner of the tentacle- a huge, burgundy colored, giant, squid.  
  
FEAR THE SQUID!  
  
With all the strength he could muster, Dib struggled to break free. This only strengthened the suction cups hold on him, and another huge tentacle wrapped around his whole body, squeezing out what little air he had left. Gritting his teeth in pain, Dib thought, But this is my dream! I can change it! This is MY dream! Just as he thought he couldn't take it anymore, and that his chest cavity was going to be crushed, yet another flash of bright light engulfed the scene. Everything changed yet again, to Dib's great relief.  
  
~*~  
  
"WHAT IS THIIIIS?!?" Zim screamed, slamming his fist into the computer console. "It can't be! He's not supposed to-"  
  
"Tickle my tummy and call me RALPH!" Gir squealed, rolling around on the floor with a huge stuffed pig.  
  
Ignoring the insane unit, Zim jumped inside the transporter, and went upstairs, adjusting his wig, and throwing on a long brown coat. If he couldn't get Dib in his sleep, he'd do away with the human while sleeping. He growled, and set off down the street at a quick pace, determined to not be thwarted yet again.  
  
~*~  
  
Coughing up sea water, Dib keeled over on the white tiled floor. He'd come WAY too close to kicking the bucket for good this time. Dripping wet, Dib shakily stood up, shivering terribly. "This is... nice." he muttered. "I don't remember thinking this..." he tried to put his hair back in place, but, apparently, all the gel had washed out of it. "What's going on here?!" he wondered out loud, looking around the totally white room, void of any furnishing.  
  
"I think think I can explain." said a voice. Dib whirled around to see a bright red, stuffed, lobster waddle in.  
  
"Hippo!" Dib cried, and scooped up the little crustacian, holding him out to look at in amazment. "Where have you been all these years??"  
  
"In your mind, Dib! Imaginary friends never really go away." Hippo responded.  
  
(For some of our slower audience members: Hippo, a 'Brak Show' cameo, is a lobster. He is Dib's imaginary companion from days of yore making a special guest appearance.)  
  
"But, why did you leave me? I've missed you!" Dib asked the lobster.  
  
"You grew up. You didn't need me anymore. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here because your subconscious called for a trusted friend. AND someone who knows what's going on." Hippo explained.  
  
Dib nodded, and gave Hippo a quick hug for old times' sake. (AWW!)  
  
"Let me explain what Zim is doing." Hippo said. Dib quirked an eyebrow, wondering how he knew about Zim. "Zim created a device that sends out a particular, computer generated, energy wave. A dream wave. This wave has been directed to you- through your own computer. Now, this wave put you into a deep, almost catatonic slumber. You're still able to control what happens in your dreams, though. That's what's gotten Zim mad. He's heading to your house to dispose of you as we speak!"  
  
There was a beat of silence, then Dib said, "That's, ehm... bad."  
  
"You're darn tootin', that's bad!" Hippo screeched. "You have to wake up!"  
  
"How do I do that?!" Dib screamed back, frustrated and scared.  
  
Hippo snorted. "Who do I look like?! Yoda?! How should I know?!"  
  
Yet again, to Dib and Hippo's great dismay, and to keep this story rolling, the gargantuan moose burst into the room. It stomped menacingly through the room- all the while crunching those walnuts, shells plummeting to the steril white floor.  
  
"The waves must still be working!" Dib cried, running with Hippo to the far end of the room- smacking into the white wall, and sliding to the floor. Whincing, he said, "This is just a big box!"  
  
Slowly, the monster moose made its way across the room with huge, great strides of his knobby legs.  
  
"You have to wake up! NOW!" Hippo cried, clenched in Dib's fist.  
  
Gazing up at the huge animal, Dib muttered, "Geez, this could be the next 'Never Ending Story' movie."  
  
~*~  
  
Just as the sun was peeking over the horizon, Zim got to Dib's house and started beating on the door. After about five minutes of the incessant pounding, a very drowsy and half-dead looking Gaz answered the door. "What?" she growled, scratching her head and yawning.  
  
"I've come for the Dib human, filthy sleep creature. Where is he?"  
  
Making a low growl in her throat, Gaz pointed upstairs, then dragged herself into the kitchen, muttering about coffee.  
  
Using his robot legs, Zim made his way upstairs. Dib's room wasn't too hard to find- his door was covered in alien stickers and a huge, self- made sign that read; 'If you can read this, you haven't been abducted yet. - The management'. He rolled his eyes, and threw the door open. There was Dib, in his bed, clutching a small stuffed lobster, and twitching. Zim grinned to himself. It almost seemed wrong to end Dib like this.  
  
He pulled out a small ray gun.  
  
Almost.  
  
~*~  
  
"Hurry, Dib! HURRY!" Hippo screamed.  
  
Dib squeezed his eyes shut. Wake up! Wake up! he screamed in his mind.  
  
No such luck.  
  
"I can't!" Dib sighed, defeated, and scooted as close as he could to the wall.  
  
"But you HAVE to!" Hippo cried desperatly, as the moose brought down its mighty head, and sniffed Dib. The suction was so great, his hair and coat were blown around. "Who else is going to save the world?!"  
  
Going from speechless terror, to an amazing amount of bravery, Dib said, "You're right! I'll NEVER let Zim win!" And at that, Dib rose one booted foot, and kicked the moose in the eye. Hard. As the monster roared in pain and anger, Dib closed his eyes. Blocking everything out, and thinking hard. One thought...  
  
Wake... UP!  
  
FLASH!  
  
~*~  
  
"Goodbye, Dib." Zim growled, put the laser to Dib's forehead, and-  
  
"NO!" with one fluid movement, Dib smacked away the laser, and tackled Zim to the floor. "How DARE you try to kill me?! With my own computer, no less?!!"  
  
"But- AGH!" Zim gasped, trying to fight Dib off. "You're supposed to be a vegetable! UGH!"  
  
"As always, your plan has backfired, Zim." Dib jumped back, and glared at a severly beated Zim. "I had a little help from a certain crustacian." He grinned.  
  
Giving Dib a quick look of confusion mixed with fear, Zim pressed a button on his backpack, and evaporated- appearing back in the lab. Dib smiled broadly, and congradulated himseld on beating Zim yet again. No all of this was thanks to him, he realized, and picked Hippo up off the 'Crop Circle' magazine littered floor, putting him ontop of the computer monitor. He smiled at his little friend, and plopped into the spinny computer chair.  
  
"Now," Dib said to the lobster. "Let's fix the computer, and see what Agent Dark Bootie is up to."  
  
Hippo didn't say anything in response, but was still an open ear- wherever his ears were, that is.  
  
THE END  
  
Aw. That was... kinda sweet. Twisted, yet sweet. Kudos to those spiffy people at William's Street for the Hippo idea. 


End file.
